Women in the Looner community

A text about sexism, old stereotypes and questionable habits – by Maggy BerLoon –


Who is writing here and WHY??

I´m Maggy. A woman with visions, a self-confident Looner girl, a creative entrepreneur. Since I´ve become a part of the Looner community about four years ago, I’ve made a lot of experiences. Besides a whole load of unbelievable beautiful situations with lovable people, I also had to deal with some negative and sexist experiences. Ultimately, every single one shaped my way of thinking. The topic of sexism/feminism accompanied me for a long time now. Since I was a kid, primarily when I was a teenager, I felt this strong urge to break out of old role model thinking, stereotypes, and related expectations. De facto I still feel this urge today, and that´s the main reason why I´m writing this text. I´m one of the few women, who are an active part of the Looner community. I´m one of the few Looners (no matter if women or men), who owns a real social media profile, who shows her face and who takes a stand. The fact that I have to point this out, makes me think. It shows me that there are things we should think about that we can hopefully change them in the future.

Even though we live in an age of enlightenment, there are still deeply rooted mindsets and behaviors, which are often quite naturally adapted by a lot of people unconsciously and automatically. Some of them shock me greatly. Depending on the bubble of information we are currently floating with, we only get to know one or the other side regarding this debate. Luckily, the voice of those who stand up against sexism is becoming louder, so these bubbles will hopefully burst. I found my voice as well and use it in this moment once again by describing my experiences regarding this topic from my female point of view.

Those of you who are already annoyed by this topic in general and maybe roll their eyes now when reading the words SEXISM and FEMINISM are welcome to put on the next senseless TV-Show. I guess you don’t have enough openness anyway, as well as the willingness to reflect on yourself (which are the necessary prerequisites to process my words). I don´t want to attack someone particularly, nor to pillory you. Everything I write about is related to my subjective view and experiences, which I gained so far.

However, if you´re becoming angry or pissed at some point, bullseye. I apparently hit the mark, and I suppose it wouldn’t be a bad idea if you, in particular, begin to think now. I guess a human can´t demonstrate more strength.

There are more male than female Looners!?

I often heard about this thesis and my impression is, that it´s indeed true. But for real? And if so, why is that?

Assuming there are more male Looners. Maybe that´s just because men have the early opportunity to confront themselves with their sexuality and needs; historically speaking. Most porn films, magazines, etc. were made by and for men. It´s natural in our society that men confront themselves with their sexual pleasures, satisfy them and talk about them with others. Hey, that´s more than just okay. I would have wished for such a positive, open and confident handling of one´s sexuality for us girls as well and I honestly still do.

Thanks to outmoded gender stereotypes and to the old-school erotic branch, women became a natural object of sexual desire to the opposite sex. But what about our needs, our fantasies, and our intimate desires? Talking openly about sex without any judgment is not taken for granted for many women. Silence, shame, and evaluations of any kind are still there. What would you think if I told you that I regularly consume porn and masturbate since I´m a young teenage girl? Imagine that I am still enjoying those things and at the same time I´m in a happy and satisfying relationship. Luckily the porn industry is changing, too. And thanks to Erika Lust and Co there is more interesting, authentic, high-grade and very attractive sex-positive content. For example, there are films/porn sites with real people, who enjoy themselves (XConfessions, Ersties, luciemakespornLustery) or magazines (Math Mag), blogs (welovegoodsex, COMECURIOUS) made by women. Porn, which doesn’t show us an illusory world with sexist stereotypes. Porn, which doesn’t only exist to please men´s desires.  So, women can identify with it, because now it´s all about satisfying the desires of BOTH parties. It´s more authentic and with real emotions.

So, it´s probably the case that there might be quite a lot of Looner girls out there, who just don´t know that they have this preference because they never were really able to explore their sexuality.

 

Another possibility is, that they just want to keep it for themselves and prefer to enjoy their fetish privately. Crazy huh!? (-> be aware of irony)

Not everyone feels the need for creating a social media profile to exchange thoughts, experiences, etc.. Of course not! From my point of view, this is an increased form of openness, and of course, everyone should decide on their own, how far they’ll go and which kind of transparency feels good to them. Because after all, sexuality is the most intimate and personal thing there is. That´s why it´s more than just okay to talk about and enjoy your passion with trusted persons. Period. The most important thing is, being honest with yourself without any judgment, shame, and fear. Self-esteem is the keyword. When you start thinking like this, you can just ignore the opinion of others. It´s okay to feel needs; it´s okay to love yourself and to do whatever makes you happy. It´s more than just okay since we only have this one life. So, make something of it!

 

But, it´s also possible, that women created a social media Looner profile, but deleted it again thanks to the reactions. Unfortunately, I observed this behavior quite often in the past. In this context, I often read „it´s too much for me“. That´s a pity. Because it happened that women also start to confront themselves with their sexuality and some even look openly for like-minded people. But since women are often just seen as an apparent object of desire, an open-minded and value-free exchange isn´t possible in this case and can become a challenging ordeal.

Women are no fair game. We´re not a simple sex object!

Beforehand, let me give you a short impression of things that can happen when a Loonette becomes a new member of the social media community (of course, this does not principally measure for everybody):

Male Looners often use an entirely anonymous profile, where everything (name, picture, description, sometimes even gender) is fake. Even if not, the internet provides us with a natural anonymity. Well, it´s not uncommon that such fake profiles ask Looner girls to come out DIRECTLY with some private and personal details. „What do you do with balloons? Can you send me a picture and make a video for me?“. They don´t ask such questions after getting to know each other, no, it´s often the first thing Lonettes have to read. A nice „Hello, I´m…“ is mostly missing as well. Instead, they´re like „ Hey, Baby“ or „Hi sexy, nice things you´ve got there“ (Balloons? Tits?WTF?). But, hey, at least they sometimes use the word „please“. „Would you please send me some naked pics of you? No? Why? But why not? …(silence)… Hello??? But please!!?“. Complete sentences are rarely used, and often one word seems to be enough. If there´s still no reaction, it can get pushy, and for example, a lot of question marks will follow. I mean, sure, how rude of those women not to respond and to please men´s desires, right!? (Attention, irony…) Seriously, what´s the deal with that? That´s how you degrade women to a simple sex object. It´s really strange, that women are not interested, isn´t it!?

 

How to deal with it? I made the experience that it´s better to ignore and to be above such things. That´s what I also recommend to other ladies who are struggling with this and ask me for help. But should this be the consequence? Somehow I think it´s sad that women acquiesce such outrageous behavior with ignorance and accept it. Sure, there´s also the possibility to block such profiles, but this doesn’t make a difference except for one´s list of blocked people getting longer and longer. So, what to do? You could also react by making a statement of course. But isn´t this exactly what this person wants? I´m talking about attention?! Women invest energy and time into a message which they hope will make this person start to think about their behavior, understand the problem, apologize for it and change it at best.

But what if this person gets aroused just by writing with you? If his intention was just to get your attention and maybe to provoke you? I suppose we´ll never get to know the exact motives in detail. The only thing we do know is that it might feel right to make a statement, but in the end, you just wasted your time and energy. Don´t get me wrong; I think it´s good and extremely important to speak out, prove integrity and to not put up with everything. Especially regarding sexism. But often such particular chats just lead to endless discussions, which won’t make you feel happy at all. Most of the times you are just angrier in the end. So, maybe it´s better just to leave it as it is, don’t provide such rude behavior with a stage, ignore and block it. Or just go with a short statement and then say Bye Bye, but don´t let this behavior overrule you so that it wins.

Let´s walk through it step by step:

When a female Looner girl becomes part of our social media balloon fetish community and uses a real authentic profile, she receives tons of requests from male Looners with mostly fake profiles and from fake women. Maybe such Looner girls are happy about it and feel flattered at first. But when explicit, as well as shameless and outrageously inviting messages, become more and more, this might turn out to become exhausting and annoying. The consequence often is ignorance, blocking such people, creating a fake profile yourself or merely delete everything. Great. So, nobody benefits, neither women nor men and especially not the Looner community.

 

Cheated to by others with fake profiles…

As mentioned above, a lot of people with fake profiles are active in our Looner online community. First, here´s my definition of a fake profile: fake picture (perhaps stolen from others and without any tag, link or credit to the owner), an utterly wrong description (if there´s any in the first place). All in all, EVERYTHING is FAKE! A lot of Looners use a fantasy name, but everything else is real and authentic. That´s not a fake profile in my point of view.

WHY a fake profile? So, nobody gets a clue who´s behind all this? Maybe you are afraid a co-worker or someone else notices you and finds out about your fetish, which would be a total disaster, and everything goes downhill from there!? A fake profile must be the only possibility. Motives are for sure individually diverse. Yes, the balloon fetish is not that well-known and taken for granted as other sexual preferences are, like the latex fetish, foot fetish or BDSM for example. To handle such an intimate thing openly is not necessary of course. It´s only relevant, to be honest with yourself and your partner. Sure, everybody should decide on where their limits are for themselves, and so should you! This is good and highly important if you want to protect your person and your privacy. Everyone should confront themselves with this topic.

Anonymity provides us with freedom. So, it seems to be more comfortable to open up by using a false identity. But it also provides us with the freedom to behave wholly bold and rude. Intentions are completely different and can’t often be recognized at first sight.

That´s why at first caution and skepticism is essential. But besides that I also want you to think about the following thing: Isn´t your own identity in particular important to get to know others and to start an open exchange? Is this extent of falsehood really necessary? Isn´t it sufficient that you use a private profile, maybe also combined with a fantasy name/picture and decide for yourself, who you allow to see your posts, which requests you accept and with whom you start a conversation with or not?

The mass of fake profiles seems odd and discouraging. Especially when you are a newcomer or a female Looner, and you get bombed with requests by such profiles. That doesn’t reflect well on our Looner community, which is sad since besides all these fake profiles there are also a lot of open-minded and lovable Looners as well, of course. But thanks to all of the fake profiles it can be quite tricky and frustrating to find those friendly personalities and to get in touch with them. I mean, almost every one of us knows how liberating it might be to see like-minded people and to exchange for the first time. So, why the hell, do we make it so hard for us and for others? Why do we embody and promote that it´s better to hide? Do we not put ourselves in a closet and stigmatize ourselves by this? Do we not agree in some way with the voice, which is calling: „Balloon fetishists are weird freaks“ with this behavior?

If you think that the only chance to open up is to use a fake profile, that’s okay. It´s much better than living an unhappy life in quiet. But why should you insist on such a dimension of anonymity? Because doing that is a thing within the Looner community? Because of laziness? I do not understand it. Haven’t things already changed during the past years? Do we really need to hide like this? Maybe so, if everything is just about meeting your needs, fast and easy.

It´s not uncommon, those female Looners receive a picture of a balloon (with or without a male on it) by a fake profile without any comment, just the question: „What should I do with it?“. Maybe also the good old dick pic follows or Looner style: a nude photo with a balloon. If the woman doesn’t respond to this „interesting way of making contact“, question marks and pushy behavior are often the results. Unfortunately, you´ll always and everywhere find such brash people, that´s nothing new. But, it´s getting problematic, if you hope to get in contact with other Looners in a personal and open way by using a counterfeit profile and ultimately all users of fake profiles might be seen in the same way as such brash people are. This can happen quickly because it´s difficult to differentiate. How the hell should we know what or who is hiding behind a fake profile!?!

But the most irritating and problematic issue is, that a lot of male Looners are hiding behind female profiles! A possible reason might be extreme shame or men hope to get in touch with other women easier by abusing the girlfriend factor. Another possibility is that this person hopes to get the same reactions and feedback as he thinks women get.

Straightaway, I can think of a lot of various female fake profiles, which pop into my head. I have to admit, that I´m shocked by this.

Please, just stand up for your gender in real life as well as in virtual life. To delude others like this is a no-go from my point of view! Personally, I always feel somehow abused by such experiences.

So, dearest fake women, let me say this to you: us women and men are not stupid, and we notice whether you use an authentic or phony profile, some earlier and some later. Finally, there is always the google image search to bring some light into the darkness. As the saying goes: The truth always comes to light, my friends.

 

How do I get to know a Looner girl???

When men ask me this question, I immediately think: Why a LOONER girl? Why not just a woman?

Isn´t it all about meeting a human (maybe even more, whatever you are into of course), with whom you feel comfortable and be yourself with 100%? Where butterflies flash over and mate? With whom you get weak knees and a pleasant feeling of affection, trust, and love?

I’ve gotten the impression more and more that it´s only about finding a private custom Looner model, who simply should satisfy your needs. Hey, I mean, if she´s a Looner herself this should be an easy thing right!? In this case, your sex life must be perfect, and you don´t have to have an uncomfortable conversation (from your point of view!) with someone. There would not be the need to open up and to be afraid of an adverse judgment like you are a weird freak and this might lead to the end of the relationship. So, it´s a beautiful imagination just to find a real born Looner girl. Together you can be in seventh balloon heaven…

But who says, that this Looner girl is interested in YOU? I think it´s quite rude of you to assume that.

I don´t preclude that such an encounter is possible and if both parties are interested in each other, perfect! But I think that in most cases everything happens differently. Unpredictably and often unexplainable. There is never the guarantee for a fulfilled sex-life In the first place, just because your partner is a Looner as well. What if you are afraid of the burst, but precisely this gets her going? Or she´s just into new and fresh balloons and hates the smell of old ones, but you enjoy it to be surrounded by them all the time at your home. Or she loves the color blue while you only prefer rose!?

Sexuality is the most intimate thing there is, and needs, desires, and wishes can alter from time to time. At least they are not always the same. In order to enjoy a fulfilling sex-life for BOTH parties, it´s more than necessary to talk openly about one’s fantasies/fetishes, etc. at some point.

So, doesn´t everything depend on the human as a whole? Isn´t everything about trust and your way of communicating with each other?

In all respect, there will always be ups and downs, as well as situations where it´s important to talk to each other in a tolerant and respectful way without questioning the whole relationship in the first place, even if the sparks flew before.

So, please stop looking for THE ONE LOONER girl and stop keeping your horizon small by doing so. You better open your eyes and ears for everything that happens around you. Doesn´t everything turn out different in the end, no matter what? So, just go with the flow, see what happens next and stop striving for your perfect image. With the right person, such an imagination can´t hold up with anyway. I´m sure, that somebody who reacts with contempt, mockery and a lack of understanding when you open up about your most intimate feelings, won´t be THE RIGHT ONE.

Just to let you know: I wasn’t a Loonette myself when I met my husband Jan almost twelve years ago. I had no idea that something like a balloon fetish even existed…

 

If someone shares sexy pics online, it doesn’t mean that this person is also willing to share MORE with you.

Quite a lot of men and women merely enjoy taking and sharing pictures of themselves promiscuously. Some with more, some with less aesthetic aspirations. But that´s not the point. Because, as we all know, luckily tastes are different.

So, if you share an explicit picture or video, you´ll receive reactions, and those might be explicit, too. I mean, of course, if you expect something else, this would be a little bit naive. It´s not about the reactions in general, but more about how they might be like. It´s not what you say, but how you say it. Responses should be characterized by esteem and should not degrade a human to a simple object of your desire without any personality an of whom you can expect more and more and more. Every human has feelings and it would be nice if those were treated with respect.

Just because women/men like to share sexy content and handle their preferences in an open-minded and honest way, it´s not obvious that this person is interested in MORE. With „MORE“ I mean for example to produce a private custom video just for you, to meet in reality, etc..

If women and men feel joy and are happy with producing sexy Looner content like pics, videos or other explicit stuff, that´s a great thing and good for them. At this point thank you for your openness. But it´s their decision how far they’ll go, not yours. Everyone should respect that without questioning it. Scrounging is unlikable, that’s my opinion.

Last but not least: My bottom line

I´ve written a lot of my chest now, and I hope that I could inspire you to reflect and think about several issues.

Besides all the negative things, I’d like to point out that there are also equally or even more positive things to say about the Looner scene. There are a lot of lovable and inspiring people with a favorable attitude within our community. So, please do not be discouraged by the black sheep. And please, don´t let us put up with their behavior silently and let’s not accept it either. This cannot be the consequence nor the bottom line.

Furthermore, let us find our voice and together look positively into the future. Let us be loud when we notice sexist or disrespectful behavior and make us not tolerate it. Everyone should feel welcome and valued, shouldn’t they? No matter whether we are women or men, all of us are only humans, we own the same rights and should treat each other like that. It´s unacceptable that women are perceived as a pure object of desire and outdated stigmatized role models influence our behavior. It´s also not okay that fear has such a significant impact towards our actions, that we prefer to hide and get in the way of our own individual happiness. Isn´t this what everybody is looking for? To develop freely and be happy?

I´m glad and thankful that I don´t live in the 20th century anymore, where self-discovery was a privilege for the straight white male. Theoretical we could assume, that these days everyone should own this right and regardless of gender, skin color, heritage, and sexual orientation. But the different behaviors I talked about, show us that unfortunately, it´s not apparent yet. It´s my wish for the future that this changes; for all I care, step by step. If we want the fetish to find its profoundly rooted place in our society, shame to scram and a growing Looner-community involving men and women, we need to say goodbye to sexist behavior, train ourselves in self-acceptance and meet each other with tolerance and respect.

Even if this sounds cheesy now, it´s never too late to change the world. At least not when you start with your own world, which happens to be in your head. I´m convinced of that!


For those of you, who made it this far, THANK YOU for reading this text!

Maggy

 

22 replies
  1. Non-popper
    Non-popper says:

    Interesting post. I’m just new at a balloon fetish forum.

    I’m asked by a woman if like to talk about our fetish. So I said yes. She is phobic non-popper, just like me. I like to talk about that with her.

    Now, after I give here some advice about best kind balloons for non-poppers and some more questions she had, I came to the sexual part of my fetish.

    How do I start telling her about the things I do with my balloons and my sexual feelings, while doing this?

    It’s also hard to tell her about the pictures and video’s I’m watching while performing fetish things.

    What’s your advise?

    I like to have contact with her and talk openly about it, but I don’t know if she turned of when I ask her.

    Everyone is anonymous at the forum and I don’t want to ask for pictures or videos and don’t want to share pictures with her.
    It’s just about talking, without making without making bad sexual comments. I want to treat her with respect.

    Reply
  2. Romeo Walker
    Romeo Walker says:

    WOW! Such a powerful article. Allow me to thank you for opening up and shining a light not into the darkness, but as a beacon for those that needed some guidance. I can legitimately say that I have had my fetish since about 12 years old. I really didn’t understand it then, I just knew that I liked the feeling of a balloon against my bare skin. Growing up as an African American male in an American inner city, with a Conservative upbringing; a fetish was taboo. It wasn’t until I traveled overseas and lived in Germany for several years that I found out that I wasn’t so weird. Not to mention HBO produced a show called “Real Sex” which let me know that it was okay to have a fetish. In dating several women, I only discovered one, who shared my love of balloons. Unfortunately we parted ways, but are still very good friends. I have never had a secret profile, in fact I mention that I am. Looner on one of my social media profiles. My current bae is vaguely aware of my love for balloons. She doesn’t share it though. Again thank you for such a great piece. I think that no one should be pressed or pressured to fulfill another’s sexual fantasy. I hope that this community can grow in the hope for acceptance, peace and love. Not to mention big beautiful balloons.

    Reply
    • Maggy BerLoon
      Maggy BerLoon says:

      Thank you so much, Romeo! I´m very happy with your feedback and that you felt inspired to share your story. I appreciate your honesty a lot.
      I mean, I´m a white, German woman, so of course, I can´t really understand, what you had to go through, but I can at least try… So, I guess it was a tough time for you, but at least such experiences made you also to the person, who you are today, and my impression is, that you are a pretty great guy 🙂 Keep on enjoying your life and your passion for balloons.

      Reply
  3. loonerlee
    loonerlee says:

    Having any kind of fetish can be embarrassing, balloons are an innocent thing, never made for looners, if anyone knew i was into this kinda thing I’d want the ground to open up and swallow me. My partner knows and telling her was difficult. A weight has been lifted now, I’m proud but want know one else to know. I feel a lot has changed about balloon fetish in the last 5 years and I believe Balloons United play a big part in the that. Thanks.

    Reply
  4. Loonaguy
    Loonaguy says:

    I’ve read this article several times now and have taken time to let it all sink in and to plan what I wanted to say in reply, most importantly I wish to applaud you, not just for this incredible, precise, thought provoking and brilliant piece of writing, but for allowing us access to your thoughts and feelings and creativity, also for being such a figurehead in the looner community as a symbol of respect and common sense and as a positive representative for loonettes everywhere.

    I’d like to think of myself as one of the few remaining gentlemen of this world, which is why it brings me such displeasure and shame at the treatment and chauvinistic attitudes of some fellow looners towards our much treasured, but sadly undervalued loonettes. What’s wrong with creating friendships for the sake of friendship? Are we really so incapable of having genuine conversations and showing empathy to each other? It seems in some cases the answer to both questions is yes, unfortunately some of us just can’t get past our hardwired urges to see the beauty of mutually respectful non-sexual relationships. Don’t get me wrong I can be just as horny as the next guy, but that doesn’t mean you have to act on your impulses, seeing women as nothing more than an object of sexual desire is quite frankly nothing short of neanderthalic, while we are as a species hardwired to want attractive partners to create attractive offspring and continue our race, that isn’t the be-all and end-all to our communications, or at least it shouldn’t be.
    Maybe it’s just me, but I want to be able to have meaningful conversations with someone not just try to get in their pants, if you want nothing more than sex then buy a sex doll or visit a brothel, but don’t think every woman you come into contact with either online or in person is going to want you or welcome your advances.
    I enjoy making genuine friends with likeminded people, sure talking shop and flirting is fun if it’s mutually agreeable, but it shouldn’t be the all encompassing reason for the friendship.
    In the stories I write I always create a backstory for the important characters both male and female, because I want the reader to be able to identify with them not just see them as fantasy sex partners, the sex is a bonus, but without a storyline and the mix of emotions that go with it, it’s just porn and that isn’t me. In the same respect a friendship based solely on sex especially the one sided desires of a guy who can’t keep it in his pants is neither desirable nor is it going to last.
    Sadly I’ve lost contact with dear loonette friends over the years due to the actions of others simply because we were mutual friends or they deleted their profile seeing no other option, often the same abuser will create multiple profiles under similar or different handles and go out of their way to stalk or troll the same person(s) over and over again. As much as hate it I’m powerless to stop it, the internet is a wonderful invention, but can also be a terrible invasion of privacy, this is the reality we live in, but as long as their are good, honest, genuine people out there it’s still in my opinion worth sifting through the idiots to find each other! ♥️

    Reply
    • Maggy BerLoon
      Maggy BerLoon says:

      Thank you, Paul, for sharing your point of view! I highly value that and it´s an enrichment for this topic. You nailed it with the sentence “I enjoy making genuine friends with likeminded people, sure talking shop and flirting is fun if it’s mutually agreeable, but it shouldn’t be the all-encompassing reason for the friendship”, that´s a pretty good point 🙂

      Reply
  5. Loonercat (Em)
    Loonercat (Em) says:

    I loved your article! I have had a bunch of uncomfortable experiences on instagram and I pushed them to the back of my mind because they made me so uncomfortable. This article brought them back into my thought and made me realize that I definitely dodn’t deserve to be treated that way. Because women looners are more rare on social media we are bombarded with messages and it is super overwhelming. There are some really nice people I have met and talked to, and still talk to, but I have also had many creepy people contact me with requests that I was uncomfortable fulfilling. At first I actually did fulfill some of the requests that were more tame because I didn’t want them to get angry, but I should never be pushed to feel like I need to do something I am not comfortable with. Thank you for voicing the female looner perspective with your article!

    Reply
  6. Mike (not really Mike)
    Mike (not really Mike) says:

    Very well written, and I think needed, article. I do believe people have varying reasons for staying anonymous. For example, I have a wife who is only semi-supportive of me being a looner. Which is to say while she’s not even 25% against it, she definitely goes through times where it feels like she wishes I could be without a fetish at all. So, for me personally, there is still a lot of shame connected to my fetish.

    I also have a daughter, and feel the need to keep any references to my fetish as far removed from my name as possible as she gets older.

    I agree 100% on the treatment of women, I’ve been at least lurking in the looner community since the late 90’s, and have seen women disappear time and time again due to treatment by “men” on message boards/social media. It’s disgusting. No one deserves to be treated like an object, and there is a vocal minority of the community that does just that.

    As I continue to type I realize that I don’t know if there’s a particular point or not to what I’m writing, outside of please know that I, a random guy on the internet that no one here will know my name, appreciate this article. Thank you.

    Reply
  7. lukman
    lukman says:

    Great article ! I am one of those male looners with a fake ID on social media. The only reason as mentioned before is I will be humiliated if I have shared some looner content or friended other looners online if I had to use my original ID. General stereotype still exists in the 21st century unfortunately !

    However yes I am very much 100% aware of the boundaries and limitations of using such IDs and I make absolutely sure that it does not cause any intolerance to others especially women.

    Reply
    • BalloonBoyUK
      BalloonBoyUK says:

      I’m in the exact same boat, as Lukman. I would never lie to someone, if I was trying to strike-up a friendship/relationship with another Looner (either online, or in the real-world), but I too, have to protect my identity online, due to previous issues with being “outed”, and treated as a freak/bad human being, and belittled by others because they didn’t (or don’t want to) understand.

      Reply
  8. maluneri
    maluneri says:

    Really well written, and an important message to us all to reflect on. I agree 100%

    I wish I could be more open about my fetish, but I’m in a position where my name is well known in certain circles, and while I wouldn’t care much about people knowing about my sexuality, I’m afraid it would lead to people teasing me with balloons in real life as a joke, and I still have my phobia, so I wouldn’t enjoy that at all.
    I’m happy to have my own anonymity, but some people just misuses that, and that may just be the root of the problem. Give an asshole anonymity, and he’ll just shit all over. Forgive my language.

    I have been ashamed of parts of the looner community some times.
    During some lonely years recently, I hung a lot with some camgirls. Truly wonderful people whose work cannot be appreciated enough, and they helped me deal with my loneliness and shyness.
    But I was often witness to people just coming in, demanding stuff and treating them like dirt. These rooms are where you’ll find the worst creeps humanity has to offer.
    I once joined a looner message board just to see someone share a multiple gigabyte torrent of pirated material.
    And worst of all, I have accidentally found videos with minors in them, and looners requesting blow to pops or whatever. That’s disgusting, illegal and immoral, and all of this ultimately reflects badly back on all of us.

    But luckily, there are voices of reason and beacons of hope, and you are one of them.
    We need an open community where whoever are welcome. Girls, boys, content creators, or just people who’re curious to learn. Welcome all, without creeping on anyone. Why is that so difficult?

    Reply
    • Maggy BerLoon
      Maggy BerLoon says:

      Hi Jim, first of all, I think it´s good, important and healthy to know your boundaries. So, just keep on doing what feels right.

      I just can assume, how people (not all of course) behave in those rooms, it must be awful, so thank you for sharing this experience! I´m pretty sure those nice ladies have to deal with a lot of crap…

      Ultimately, thank you so much for your feedback, your nice words and your support!

      Reply
  9. Jim
    Jim says:

    Dear Maggy,

    The balloon community is lucky to have you! Well spoken and though not all of it applies to me, a lot of it resonates completely.
    I envy the people like you that aren’t hiding, are not in the closet and simply have embraced their passion. I have flirted with “coming out” numerous times but always seem to chicken out. I have never met another looner in person and this is just a shame, caught up in my own insecurities and fear of being discovered and ridiculed for my balloon fetish.
    Considering that this is such a big part of my life, it is actually very sad that I deny myself the fulfillment that would come from just coming out and being who I am and being proud of it.
    One reason I have not come out is that when I opened up to my wife about my fetish, she asked me not to. It was our intimate secret. Though she is very supportive, perhaps she is also a bit ashamed of it. Or maybe it is just an intimate secret we share which makes it special. Whatever it is, I am so lucky to have a wife that is okay with my balloon fetish that I respect here wishes.
    However, I would still like to meet others with the fetish. Not for exploring the sexuality of it but just to talk with like minded people who share this amazing thing (and yes, I think we are incredibly lucky to have a balloon fetish for many, many reasons)
    I would also like to admit that when I first discovered I was not alone, I went crazy (literally) imagining finding a women who had the same feelings about balloons and what it would be like to actually have sex with someone who shared it. So not to make excuses for or to give a bad behavior pass to but I do think that we need to give a 3 month self discovery time out period for the newbies. Once a person sees that we are a large and a very welcoming and supportive community, sanity settles back in. It did for me anyway.
    So I would love to come out. I have wanted to for many years. I always envied the people in the US who were on the Balloon Buddy List as there were always groups of people organizing local get togethers. Being in Europe, they were just out of my reach but maybe it’s time to set one up for people near Amsterdam?
    Unfortunately, when it comes to sex, we humans can get pretty weird. Add to that the autonomy of the internet and you have a recipe for extreme distasteful, rude and outrageous behavior.
    I think most of us men wish there where more women in our community. For those of us who do respect women and agree completely with what you are saying, it is really frustrating to see a few idiots screw it up for the rest of us. Time and time again it seems that the women who join us (if they are actually women) are driven away and there is very little we can do about it except to say, “I’m not like that”. I will treat you just like I treat those few people who I trust and occasionally chat with.
    And last but not least. It probably will not bring you any comfort to know but even we guys get bombarded with unwanted, aggressive, suggestive messages. “Send me a ….” or people talking about things I really don’t want to know, photos of things I don’t want to see. It happens to me all the time.
    I like having a large group of people in my community but when it comes to anything that seems to involve sex, there is a big chunk of the population that can’t just be a bit normal. Yes, it is exciting, I get that but people come on! Life is not porn. Let’s separate the fantasy from the reality every once in awhile.
    I am glad you had the chance to get this off your chest. And please know (the please word), there are plenty of men in our community who completely respect and admire women for all the right reasons. And many of us would be thrilled to be able to have real discussions about the passion we share for balloons. In fact, I’d rather understand it from the women’s perspective now as God knows I have talked about it enough with other men. Got the mans perspective x10 already.
    I admire you Maggy for the time and the energy you invest in making our community a better place. And I apologize for the men who behave in ways that make you want to close down as opposed to open up. There’s nothing I can do about that accept to publicly call them out when I have the chance.

    Reply
    • Maggy BerLoon
      Maggy BerLoon says:

      Hey Jim, I appreciate your openness. Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts and experiences.
      I think it not necessarily necessary to come out to the whole world since at least you are honest with yourself and also with your wife. I think that´s great. Of course, I also understand that it´s liberating to get in contact with like-minded people, so I´m happy about the opportunities we have today. But yeah, a local get together could be nice.
      Jim, you don´t need to apologize for those men, I value these experiences since they made me who I am today. I know that not ALL men are like that (I hope it didn´t sound like I would…), I differentiate.
      Also, thank you for pointing out that even you, as a man has to deal with those annoying men & struggling situations. I think in the end, everything comes down to two types of humans: good and “bad” ones.
      Even better the good ones stick together 😉

      Reply
  10. Julia
    Julia says:

    Omg I’m so glad someone spoke out about this. It stinks to receive uncomfortable texts from looners, especially if they’re not explicitly creepy at first or ever. Since the balloon fetish is not really well known, it feels like I’m letting down the community whenever I choose not to send DMs about looning with other looners. I forget that I have personal boundaries that are being crossed, and I’m glad this article reminded me of that.

    Reply
    • Maggy BerLoon
      Maggy BerLoon says:

      Oh, Julia, thank you for your honest comment! I can completely relate to this feeling, and I also have to think of my boundaries from time to time. So I feel touched that my post reminds you of that.

      Reply
  11. Retl
    Retl says:

    One extra clarifying note, because I couldn’t find the edit button. I did read the rest of the article *after* “How do I get to know” section. I meant that I skipped most of that specific section.

    Reply
  12. Retl
    Retl says:

    I forgot to reply to this point in particular:
    “I mean, almost every one of us knows how liberating it might be to see like-minded people and to exchange for the first time.”

    Seriously, finding out I wasn’t the only person like this and that other people would actually support me in making and sharing balloon related content was absolutely life-changing. It changed my hobbies, changed my career path, led me to new friends I trust very much, and helped me accept that I am quirky and that being quirky is fine and sometimes even beneficial.

    Reply
    • Maggy BerLoon
      Maggy BerLoon says:

      That is SO beautiful, and I feel honestly happy for you!!! I think everyone has a quirky side and the best people are those, who accept this particular side. That´s my point of view. At least I experienced that those people are always fun to be around and somehow an inspiration. (By the way, I love the word quirky 🙂 )

      Reply
    • Jim
      Jim says:

      Dear Retl,

      It also changed my life.. for the better. I spent over 20 years being ashamed of this passion I had. I thought I was a bit of freak. Then I found this community and now I just feel very, very lucky to have a passion/fetish for balloons. It gives us a lot of advantages. Now I just enjoy this gift I have been given!

      Reply
  13. Retl
    Retl says:

    Good post, and I agree with most points.

    I’ll admit, I completely skipped everything past the first four sentences in the “How do I get to know a Looner” section. Dating / courtship / romantic companionship is just not my thing. So if any of the rest of my comments below conflict with something from that section of the article, I apologize.

    I’m sorry that disguising or misrepresenting one’s sex/gender can come off as abusive. I understand how that can be hurtful even by people meaning no harm when there are active examples of people exploiting it to have power over others rather than for their own sake.

    “The consequence often is ignorance, blocking such people, creating a fake profile yourself or merely delete everything.”

    While my sex is no secret for anyone motivated to find out, typically when I do make profiles that are intended for social interaction, I make a point to avoid disclosing my sex, gender, race, age, sexual preference (outside of balloons themselves), etc personal details, for privacy, safety, and security concerns. ( Especially in light of a lot of credit history and government record information getting out into the web in the past couple of years. In a lot of cases, age, name, address, and phone or SSN is more than enough to get a password reset and hijack and account.) Yet, without mentioning those things, using cartoon animal characters for my avatar icon, and general drawing or commissioning the kind of art I’d like to see, I did see a fair share of A/S/L requests and unsolicited dick pics in my inbox. And as you mentioned, I usually ignored the posts and muted or blocked the people sending them.

    Eventually, the combination of requests like that, and stronger political hostilities on most social networks, I got sick of it all and started deleting and locking most of my social media profiles altogether. So yes, exactly as you said.

    “And please, don´t let us put up with their behavior silently and let’s not accept it either. This cannot be the consequence nor the bottom line.”
    While I agree with the sentiment and practicality- I’ve watched smaller chat rooms and videogame-specific communities become foul and fall apart from too much willingness to let people in and too little action to push out people who were actively making others miserable and chasing them away- I must also admit that I typically loathe confrontation. So when things get unpleasant enough that having a fight about it seems to be the only way to fix it, I usually just leave it behind. I would rather have my peaceful free time than spend it trying to communities that are tearing me apart and stressing me out regularly. I will support the people trying to make the changes that I agree need to be made, and I will decline service to people who I know actively cause trouble and harm to the communities I care about, but I can’t ever see myself going around trying to push people for change in a direct confrontation.

    Though I also realize running away is not always an option when that same community has strong influence over one’s business and livelihood. And it certainly doesn’t do favors for the people who stayed around trying to make things better. I dunno.

    Either way, this article is something worth thinking about and sharing. I’ll make sure to link some of my friends back. Thank you for posting!

    Reply
    • Maggy BerLoon
      Maggy BerLoon says:

      Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts and experiences this detailed. I appreciate your openness and your support a lot!

      I can completely relate to your statement that you rather prefer to have your peaceful time than to fight on something. Often it´s just a waste of time and energy, so it´s essential everyone should decide on their own…
      Your life = your happiness 😉

      Reply

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