– GUEST ARTICLE: Tom opens up and tells us something about his life as a looner –
Tom R., 22 years old and I’m from the land of „Rhine and Ruhr“. How you apparently can see, I want to stay anonymously. However, I want to give you some information about my own, personal story. It is the first time for me. I have never been in contact with other members of the looner scene. No one knows about it, except my girlfriend. But the blogs here are so good that I’ve decided to follow her call, to post anything that could be an inspiration for others. Unfortunately only the „brave“ looners are active the chat- and blog areas, those that jumped over their shadows about talking about it, long time ago. But there also others if you look closer. Let’s start!
I am afraid of the burst!
I have got this fear for a long time now. I don’t want to concern me now with my psychology to find a formidable reason for it, but of course, there is the big point that balloons arouse me. I have been sexually aroused by balloons for a long time now, and I think this excitement was already there before I even knew what sexual feelings are like. At least I can remember some of my dreams that I had. They unleashed an unexplainable feeling, that was sexual excitement, I think so.
When I was eleven years old, I started to wait until everyone left the house and wouldn’t be back soon. Then I began to pop bags and balloons I’ve collected (if I was even able to do it, because of my fear of the pop). I can’t say it anymore if it was the try of fighting my fear or to keep my subconscious fantasy alive. I think both facts were involved.
When I was sixteen, I started realizing that I have a fetish!
At this point, the trigger was an advertisement from „BeBe Youngcare“ in TV, where unexpected a female, young model jumped through a room full of balloons and popped some of them. I was shocked about my reaction to this clip, but after the first shock, I started to discover „youtube“ for myself. Stomp to pops and sit to pops by girls, were my absolute favorites at this time. Of course, I kept my fetish top secret towards my family, and I’ve hidden all my activities on the internet. I can also remember the first time I bought balloons in a supermarket. I was so nervous and afraid that someone could observe me…..
I get into my fetish after moving into my flat.
Of course, there are some moments, when you feel alone and at the first look, the only source of people that are like yourself, is the internet. Especially in the beginning, if you don’t know how everything works, it is challenging to find something. And even if you see a chat, area or forum, there is the significant fact that there are nearly just older people on their way, with more sexual experience than me. Dennis from balloonfetish.org was almost the only person, I could identify with. He gave me the feeling, „Yes! There are others!“. That is the ground why I’m writing this text.
And then I found my first serious girlfriend, and we are still together now.
She is a perfect catch, in all cases. I would never have told her about my fetish. But luckily for me, she found it out by herself at the beginning of our relationship. Someday we talked about sex, and there was that one question that you couldn’t answer easily if you have a fetish. So I needed some seconds to answer the question, and that was too much. My girlfriend than knew that I have a sexual obsession, but I’m not able to talk about it. She was trying to find out what my fetish was like and she started to worry that it is something strange like, violent fantasies, pedophiliac or even worse….
As she finally started to worry about our relationship, I decided to tell her all about it, and she was so relieved about it.
Balloons? That’s it?! And then she was interested and probably wanted to try it immediately.
But I needed a little bit more time. It was perfect for our relationship that she finally knew all about it, from the beginning. Who knows if all that would have worked in secret conditions? As time went by, she even helped me to fulfill my fantasies, and I never thought something like that could be real. In fact, sometimes she brings the balloons to me as a secret weapon.
Of course, not everything is that great. At the moment she is the only one knowing about it, and I sometimes have the one or other problem with my fetish. But how you can see, I’m so far right now that I can share my feelings anonymously. Even talking about it was very stressful for me.
I’m happy that it is out now! I don’t want to have such a big secret towards my girlfriend. And even if she doesn’t share the same fetish like me, my credo is clear.
Be honest, that’s the most significant fact.