Getting over the shame


My name is Emily and I am a looner from the United States. I am currently 20 and have had the fetish basically my whole life, however it did not turn sexual until I was around 10 years old. As a child, I was obsessed with balloons, but I was also terrified of them popping. I was so scared of the pop that I avoided social events or places where I thought they would be. What I loved was when I could be alone with balloons and there was no danger of them popping because I would be gentle and take care of the balloons. When I was a young child I would talk to the balloons like they were my friends.

At the age of 10, I started going on my mom’s computer and would search videos of people blowing up balloons. I felt really guilty and gross when I would do this because I was confused and I didn’t know what was going on. One day I was blowing up an orange balloon, and it made me horny. I was afraid of the feeling at first but then I realized I liked it. I continued to partake in balloon-related activities in the privacy of my room through high school, and I knew it was strange but I didn’t realize it was a fetish until the very end of high school. I was watching an episode of Bob’s Burgers and one of the characters revealed that he had a balloon fetish. When this happened in the episode I literally paused the episode and froze up in terror. I then googled the episode and realized that I had a balloon fetish. I felt pretty bad about myself because of the fetish, but I told my brother and a close friend about it and they were really understanding. I made an Instagram and found people that loved balloons as much as I did. Being able to take photos of myself with balloons helped me embrace the fetish and feel less shame about it.

When I realized I had the fetish I knew right away that I wanted to get over my fear of balloons popping, and I have made significant progress towards this goal. One hurdle I had to get over though was the fact that I can get very emotionally attached to balloons. I don’t get emotionally attached to every balloon, but sometimes I really don’t want them to pop because I will miss them. For a long time, I wouldn’t admit that I had this emotional connection to balloons because I was ashamed of it. I am now more accepting of myself, and I think it is awesome that balloons can do so much for me emotionally. Because of this emotional connection though, sometimes I just can’t bring myself to pop a balloon even when it gets old and deflated. Another reason I was ashamed of the fetish is that I need balloons constantly. Within the past few months, I haven’t gone more than a day or two without having one. For a while, I felt like a freak for being so obsessed with them that I always wanted and needed them around, but if they make me happy then there is nothing wrong with that.

Balloons are a part of who I am. Some people choose not to tell others about their fetish, but most of the people I am close to know about my fetish and none of them have a problem with it. Because it is such a big part of who I am I don’t really feel like I can comfortably keep it a secret, and so I haven’t. I have balloons around me when friends are over, and I can be myself and feel no judgment in these situations. If anyone is contemplating telling those around them about their fetish I would say go for it because people, for the most part, will be understanding. Also if anyone feels ashamed for having the fetish you should embrace it because it is so much fun. I am so glad that there is a supportive community of looners to talk to and that this fetish exists.


6 replies
  1. Steve
    Steve says:

    Thanks for posting, Emily. I relate to so much of the feelings you described. I’m a US resident looner too. Glad to know I’m not the only one! Maybe we could work together on a US “chapter” of united members in the states. Continue to Enjoy and embrace who we are.

  2. Dan
    Dan says:

    I’m an old geezer in Internet years, being in my 30s, but I’ve been a serious non-popper looner since I was 6 or so, and it warms my heart to see younger looners come to terms with it and open up a bit. I always need a few 12-inchers or larger scattered around to bounce or cuddle with at night.

    If a balloon gets old and oxidized but you can’t bear to get rid of it just yet, here’s a tip: tying a half-knot that’s easy to undo is pretty common practice. I like to deflate them, take them in the shower with me, turn them inside out, rub with moisturizing soap or body wash, and carefully reinflate (not too tightly, obviously). That way, it’s shiny again, the rubber is still old and stretched making it soft and huggable, and the old rubber smell is partly masked. You can get much more use out of them.

  3. Max Random
    Max Random says:

    If it’s not so much to ask, wich one is your Instagram? You know this community is so scatter that is nearby impossible found people with the fetish.

    Happy New Year, and greetings from Spain.

  4. Willblown
    Willblown says:

    Great blog!

    You are not alone. I too get attached to my balloons. I also care for my balloons. If I had it my way I would always be around balloons.

    We loonerd are the luckiest people in the world. I have only told three people. I think it is amazing you are so brave!

    Keep enjoying the magic gift youhave been given!

  5. Jim
    Jim says:

    That is great that you can be so open with your friends. I didn’t grow up with the internet and thought I was a freak and the only one that had this fetish.
    Until I was in my late 20’s did I discover that other people had this fetish. I have married for 12 years and with my wife for 18 and I want to tell her but am so afraid of what she will think. thank you for sharing your story. I will have to look up that bobs burger episode…


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