Balloon fetish? How to tell my partner that I´m a looner!

Countless times I´ve been asked in the past: „Maggy, how should I tell my partner that I have a fetish for balloons!?“. Since I´m not a couples therapist or an expert corresponding to this topic I can´t tell you THE solution or give exact instructions. But I can try to give you food for thought and maybe some little tipps. At least I can bolster you up.

Where is the cause?

The question is: Where do such inhibitions and problems to open up about your fetish come from? Is it the fear of rejection? Is it the fear of being alone? Low self confidence? This might  all be an explanation, but in the end it’s absolutely individual and a lot of factors can play an important role. What I want to say? Everyone who feels addressed in some way now should just think about where his own inhibitions might come from. Sometimes it’s easier to find a new way after recognizing the „problem“.

Love yourself and find your path

Of course everyone should decide for their own how to deal with his preferences. I mean weather it’s in an open way or not or with whom you talk about it. After all it’s the most intim thing ever. As long as you find a way which makes you really happy and satisfied everything is great. But if you don’t, then change something. It’s as simple as that. Friends, you only live once. So don’t waste your time and take the risk to get happy. Primarily you are responsible for your own happiness. Just start to accept and to appreciate yourself and your fetish. To talk to someone about that might be a first step to the right direction.

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Go for it and don’t wait too long

It has to be the right moment!? I_m saying that’s bullshit! Because how does the right moment look like and isn’t it just an excuse to be able to always postpone it in the first place? I think the perfect moment is only an illusion. All depends on your own perspective and if you want to you can always find something to complain about.

So don’t wait for that perfect moment. The danger is just too high to waste too much time in the meantime, maybe days, weeks, months or even several years. I can’t imagine this behavior enriches a relationship and I suppose it’s quite the opposite. Just imagine the following situation: You are in a relationship for quite a long time now which is characterized of honesty and trust. At least you think so. Everything is fine and wonderful. Than you find out about your partner’s fetish for the first time. How would you feel?

So I can just speak for myself, but I suppose I would be greatly surprised, shocked and probably a little bit angry. But most I would be sad. Big times. Sad about the fact that my partner (of whom I thought he would be honest with me) didn’t entrust his inner feelings to me. This would tear a hole in our relationship, which would have to be repaired again. Of course no impossible thing. Together you can manage A LOT, but there’s also another way. Such a situations can be avoided easily, if you talk with each other early.

THE RIGHT one!?

To tell your partner about your own fetish is the most intim and personal thing you can do. This is a huge display of trust and can bring two people closer and weld them together. I remember well when Jan told me about his preference for the first time. I was so touched and felt more and more in love with him and not because I found the fetish cool (At this point I couldn’t do much with it. I’ve never heard a thing about the balloon fetish before and I didn’t know weather I would like it myself or not!). It was just that I appreciated it a lot that he trusted me and opened up. So if you live out the fetish together afterwards or just try it once or you find together another way of dealing with it: this is up to you and can be very differently. But I think the most important thing is to accept and to RESPECT each other. With your strengths, your weaknesses, your quirks and your kinks.

Yes, maybe this might sound cheesy and dreamy for some of you, I don’t care, because I believe in real love, however this might look like.

Maybe some of you think right now: „But what if it doesn’t come out that way? When there is a negative reaction? And so on and on and on???“ Friends, what is it then? Maybe this is a crushing knowledge at first, but I simply think it’s not THE RIGHT one then. I can only think of one thing in this case: If you don’t try, you’ll never know and maybe you’ll think about it your whole life. Afterwards you are always smarter.

Do you know your partner’s preferences? Asking might be a good start to talk about sex stuff…

I admit that I also had my problems to confront myself with my own sexuality and to appreciate my own person. After Jan told me with a trembling voice about his balloon fetish I didn’t only appreciated it, it also encouraged me to do the same thing. In particular to deal with my own feelings, to accept myself and to communicate my needs. That’s how we emerged to such open-minded people, which we are today and I suppose these development will continue our whole life. In which direction remains to be seen.

To sum up, I shall say that it’s not a matter of you „outing yourself towards your partner“, it’s about making your common sex life a subject of discussion and exploring it together. Possibly you carry too much about yourself and your fetish and it happens to be something inside your partner, which you don’t know a thing about. Did you thought about that before?

This also might be a great start to talk about your common sex life in the first place: Just ask about hers/his preferences! Ask her/him if there is something special she/he is into or would like to try one day. Are you once in the topic, it’s your chance to open up. Well and then just wait and see what happens. If there will be a strange glance, an unpleasant word or something, don’t loose your composure. Surprised reactions can have a different look and doesn’t tell a thing about the actual point of view. It’s much more important how both of you treat each other in a long term.

Head off. Talk. And just do it.

It’s not about convincing and align oneself to each other to become some sort of copy. It’s rather about getting to know each other, maybe also yourself and to treat each other with great respect and of course: that your partner understands that you can’t switch and turn off your feelings. Everything else will develop by itself. It’s just important that you treat your partner just in the way you like to be treated: understandingly and respectfully. That’s it. Give her/him time if needed and don’t put her/him under pressure. Point out your needs and talk open and honest about them. Tell your partner about your feelings and your fears, no matter how banal they might be for yourself. Because someone who doesn’t talk, can’t be helped.

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So it is like with everything else in life, the most important things are to: talk, talk, talk, to find ways and solutions together and don’t have big expectations (I know, sometimes this is easier said than done). Try it out, see it as an experiment, when you try something new and see afterwards if it’s cool for both of you or not. This might be a lifelong lasting process and maybe things/thoughts/needs change from time to time (this is my personal experience). But just do it and don’t think toooo much about it, because lovely people:

It’s JUST BALLOONS. Harmless.

In the end I have to tell you one sentence, which I can’t get out of my head. It encountered me lately and I think it’s really matching at this point:

Be weird. Be random. Be who you are. Because you’ll never know who would love the person you hide.

Over and out.

 

18 replies
  1. Aakash says:

    Can a non Popper person getting transformed to a popper or vice versa?

    Even thought I don’t have any partner yet but I have told to best friend who trust me a lot and she accepted it BY saying its normal to have such. I have tried to say to people who are close(friends) to me but they were like a little in awkward . they does it really exist.

    In your balloon united shop, does you have a balloon pump. ?

    Reply
  2. It doesnt matter my name says:

    After a lot of changing my mind and battling myself I finally had the guts to admit my fetish to my girlfriend and it went great haha not going to lie it was really scary but she had a lot of questions about my fetish and accepted it after she educated herself on it 🙂 and now she knows everything about me and is more than happy to blow up balloons for me! Thank you Maggy!!!

    Reply
  3. balloonsenseiNYC says:

    Ive always heard the variations on the concept, from looners that are in the closet about the fetish, that “she loves me in all OTHER ways so I have to take what I can.”
    My response has always been…an intimate relationship is based on trust and mutual acceptance. There is neither if you cant be totally open about your own eroticy and intimacy. Its an all or nothing proposition. If theyre unaccepting of your being a looner, then theyre NOT accepting of YOU. Its part of your makeup and what makes you…YOU. Without that…what relationship is actually there?

    Reply
  4. Steven says:

    Hello Maggy,

    This article perfectly stately everything that I could explain to my girlfriend. I opened up to her about my fetish three dates in and she was at first confused and then listened to me explain. She was quite intrigued and then told me that when she was little she collected balloons and I thought to myself what a serendipitous moment. What are the chances? Her and I have been through a lot over the past few years and balloons are a huge bond that not only keeps us connected but also breaks down other barriers to help us understand things that we normally would not. She also told me a few nights ago that even if her and I were to separate that she would probably continue to enjoy looning. You and Jan are a huge inspiration and I am so glad that I am able to be myself on your site.

    Sincerely,
    Steven

    Reply
  5. WillBlows says:

    It took me years to tell my partner and in my case it was the right time. Our relationship was not doing well it fact it was effectively over and I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.

    I was nervous, really nervous and my partner was pretty open sexually so I can imagine that for some it will be harder and it is a choice whether you want to tell someone who is important to you or not. If I was not convinced the person wasn’t more than just another relationship, I am not sure I would do it. You are giving someone leverage over you and many times relationships can end badly.

    However, aside from the negatives, in my case, telling my partner now wife not only saved our long term relationship but also made us closer and our sex lives more intense. Balloons are not always part of our sex lives but when they are, it is beyond amazing. It really takes it to a new level and my wife loves that fact that after so long, she can still turn me on beyond belief.

    We have not shared this with our friends mostly because she likes the fact that it is our intimate secret. I am not bold enough to tell most people anyway and given that I am a business owner and my circle of clients, it may not work out well for me in the long run.

    Balloons have always been a big part of my sexuality. I have long since stopped fighting it or being ashamed. Actually, I am lucky. Not only are balloons always a 10 for me but they have reduced the worry my wife has that I may have an affair when our sex lives are not that active. And it’s true, I don’t need to find pleasure outside my own bedroom and her being okay with it just means that if I am in the mood and she is not, it does not cause friction and allows me to respect her. I do not need to jump on her just because I need the release.

    It is a very personal choice but Maggy makes a lot of really good points. My favorite being that if your love of you life is not open to your fantasies and you are not open to hers, the relationship is probably not going to last the test of time. I personally want to live with someone who I share everything with. Its part of what makes our relationship so strong. But I can completely understand how hard it is to breach the subject and to put your heart and soul in a place they can be stepped on.

    And last but not least, I talked around the fetish for hours before telling her. It’s hard even to say to you have a fetish but when I finally blurted it out my wife’s reaction was, “Balloons? Really? Oh thank, God! I can handle balloons. Fun! I was scared it would be something really heavy, something I just could not do. I can do balloons. Do you have any?”

    All those years of lost intense enjoyment while in the end, she didn’t even skip a beat and just went for it! I wish I had done it earlier and saved myself a lot of hiding, a lot of shame and embarrassment that actually was mostly only in MY head.

    Reply
    • Maggy BerLoon says:

      I think your story could bolster a lot of people up, who might be in a similar situation. So thank you so much for sharing it in such an honest way! I appreciate that and I´m really happy your life took such a positive turn after telling your wife <3

      Reply
  6. Loonaguy says:

    If I thought you’d be able to see it I’d give you a standing ovation lol

    This is possibly your finest article to date and a topic that affects us all.

    Ok before I begin I don’t want to come across as trying re-write your post, but I have feelings and opinions about this topic that I would like to express.

    I definitely agree this a conversation that has to be broached in all our relationships with significant others and the earlier the better, not just as it could be seen as keeping something from your partner, but also to learn their feelings before things get too serious between you.

    I get the inner turmoil about telling someone your deepest fantasies and kinks, in my case I’d told myself for years that I must be some kind of freak for having such desires, because if I had previously felt that way about it myself then how could I expect someone who neither has the fetish nor for that matter most likely ever heard of it understand or accept it and be willing to try or integrate it into our sex life. It sounds impossible if you approach it from this mindset, but that’s the fear of the unknown and the only way to truly know anything is to do it right!
    Sure the outcome may not always be favourable, but you can’t live your life sheltering yourself from everything you aren’t certain about, if you do are you truly living? My answer would have to be a resounding NO!

    I’m glad you brought up the issue of timing, because I agree the notion of their being a perfect time to do or say something is completely farcical, the term perfect is to reach an unattainable standard, so if to be perfect is impossible it can’t exist therefore by proxy perfect timing doesn’t exist, but there is an adage which does apply – There’s no time like the present!
    We’ve already established that this conversation is best advised to happen early on in a relationship, but as for how to start it or which setting it should take place in, it doesn’t matter, I’m testament to this and there is definitely better times to bring it up than to blurt it out during sex (yep that happened lol) or maybe that’s a good way to do it who can say, the important thing is that the conversation happens and to be 100% honest and open about all your likes and dislikes, your partner should at least appreciate the honesty and if they agree to try it will help guide them with what you like and dislike, so as to make the practical a positive experience for you both.

    In closing – Nobody can tell us how to think or feel or what say, we are all unique and different and we each will have our own take on things, but if we can’t be honest with each other are we really being honest to ourselves?…

    Thanks again for tackling this subject Maggy, another frank and open piece written from the heart ❤️

    Reply
  7. Maluneri says:

    Wish I had a happy story to share, but I don’t.

    I decided to tell my ex very early on, because I wanted to be open and honest. She did not like it at all, and I had to promise to never even bring it up again.
    She was so nice and right for me with everything else, except my fetish, and while it was fine for me to abstain the first year or so, it got increasingly harder, and I found myself searching for balloon fetish on rare occations when I had alone time, and even buying some for the hotel room while I went to a business trip for a week or so.

    In the end, we broke up, and I’ve actually been kinda happier since. Not because I don’t miss her, I really do, but because I feel like I can finally be myself again, have fun with balloons.
    If I ever happen to find a girl again, she will just have to accept balloons. I’ll always love the girl more, but in the end, having to hide your fetish from those you love because they don’t accept it simply isn’t worth it.

    Reply
    • Maggy BerLoon says:

      Right 😉 it simply isn´t worth it! Thanks for sharing your story, even if it turned that well with this girl. BUT it turned out well for you!
      I wish you all the best and I hope you´ll find someone, who appreciate your honesty and you can share it with.

      Reply
      • Maluneri says:

        Thank you.
        I won’t let one bad experience ruin future relationships, and honesty is always the way to go. Most people these days do seem really open and accepting too, and that’s great.

        Reply
  8. Jo De Mulder says:

    Perfect spoken !
    The only thing i can say is this ;
    If a couple can’t speak abouth sexual fantasies and preferences inside (and maybe even outside) the relationship ,there is something wrong whit that relationship… talking abouth EVERYTHING is the keystone to a healthy life whit a partner .
    letting each other free to enjoy (sex) life is very important .
    in some cases one of the partners might realy not like the fantasy from the other like in my case but even then you can find a way or compromise .
    a person has no wright to forbid another one having his fantasy but on the other hand has the wright to know abouth the actions he/she wants to do .
    a good adult conversation is the base to a good honnest solution . Don’t get angry to each other ,try to understand the other ,both must have respect .
    try to explain that a fetish is not the same as normal couple-sex . It is something very strong and present in our minds ,you can’t just “turn it off and move on”. A fetishist has to channel this feelings and from time to time the fetish must become a real experiance (eather whit the partner ,alone or whit a third person).
    My wife is very happy that i can do this whit an escort girl ,no stress ,no relation ,no cheating… she just wants me to be honnest abouth it and keep it under control . We both found this perfect solution (for us) just by talking abouth it . It works for 4 years now and we never had even a single fight over it .
    So indeed…. TALK TALK TALK ,not next week… NOW !!!
    Greetings Jo

    Reply

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